** The following is a very special gift sent to me by my sister for my birthday. Julie hon, thank you so much! This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read and it brought tears to my eyes. I just want to let you know that the girl on the beach isn't gone, she's just struggling to keep her own head above water and sometimes forgets that there are those in her life who can help her stay afloat.

~ LOST: THE GIRL ON THE BEACH ~

At nine years old, I still couldn't swim. This didn't keep me away from water though. Instead, I jumped out of the back of the canoe my brother was rowing farther out into the pond. Of course, when I jumped, I did not realize that the bottom of the pond was mushy. Every time I tried to push off the bottom, my feet just sank into the soft dirt, keeping me trapped under water.

I was going to drown! I just knew I would. Arms frantically flailing, and gasping air into my lungs whenever I did manage to get my head above water for an instant, I tried desperately to gain the attention of the girl tanning herself on the pond's small beach.

I don't know how long it actually took, but she did notice me. She rushed into the mucky water and pulled me to safety. She saved my life!

At nine years old, however, I didn't realize how much this girl on the beach had done for me; or how much she would do for me in my future.

During the horrible times when my parents would fight, and later divorce, it was the girl on the beach who held my siblings and I close and helped us see that we had each other. No matter how bad life seemed to be, we would always have each other.

As we grew older, and built lives of our own, the girl on the beach was still there for me. She taught me to drive a standard transmission automobile. A lesson I'm positive my Mom is grateful she didn't have to teach!

She was there for me when I lost my first baby. And she was also there during the first stages of labor of my first full-term pregnancy. With a house full of children she was babysitting, she helped me count and time contractions.

Later, she was there for me during my divorce.

Whatever time, day or night, she was always there, helping me hold my head above water.

I don't think I ever let her know how much she truly helped me. I took for granted that this girl on the beach would always be here with me. I assumed she knew how grateful I am to have had her in my life, and how much I love her.

Now, without knowing exactly when it happened, the girl on the beach so long ago, has disappeared. I have tried over the past couple of years to reach out to my big sister; to let her know that I am here for her, as she has always been there for me.

But she is lost. And I miss her.